with all the time i spend on the internet, it's a shame i can never find an adequate remainder to blog, but that right there could be the very culprit. i get so consumed; lost in article after article, sifting my way through the drudge report and then to various blogs that by the time i make it to blogger, i'm spent. but my god, i can't become that blogger who blogs about not blogging, or worse, about trying to blog.

so moving right along and past my fear.

today i started a new job. yes, another new job. the oldnew place where i worked at had issues. like, bouncing my paycheck issues and the owner being a complete ass who never took full responsability for his mistakes sort of issues. and so, despite my disgust for having to start all over again at somewhere new, i had to give severines' the axe. this newnew place i started at tonight is by far the classiest and hippest joint of them all; and they seem to have it togather unlike the prior, which, after this evening's exquisite wine and appetizer tasting, i wonder why i always try so hard to hold onto places and things that have gone awry. is it laziness or loyalty? maybe, a perfect mixture...whatever the case may be, the older i get, the more i realize how much of a trend this issue has played in my life; how much it has shaped and molded who and what i am. and moreso, where i am. dallas. still in, dallas. though, not a slam against this city, i'm just..over it.

earlier in the day, i spoke on the phone with stephanie. she is currently in nyc trying to find a place to live, and doing so quite fashionably in killer boots from what i hear. this has been her dream since, well, as long as i've known her, fourteen something years ago in middle school. her: an aspiring dancer in the big apple. but this afternoon on the phone, steph began to share her hesitation; a reluctancy, if you will. i believe her exact words were, "i'm thinking, why not Seattle. i can do the same thing there." and upon hearing that word utter with the intention of one's replacement put upon it, a fire was sparked. "Seattle", it rolled off my lips like dr.pepper made with imperial sugar cane only can do. the thing is, i would love to move to the northwest and i've wanted to for years and years and years but something...everything has always kept me here in dallas. here in dallas was my debt. here in dallas was my job to fix my debt. though on the other hand: here in dallas was my family. here in dallas are some amazing friends. here in dallas are evenings spent playing scrabble, or going to see That Band play. here in dallas is michelle, is rachel, is kate, is tiffany. girls that are four in a million: intelligent, refined, non-pretensious, kind, considerate, loyal, witty, adventerous, and laid back. the type of people after you meet you feel like you won the lottery, and then you get to know them and your positive their is a god because people like that are just too wonderful for anti-matter to be responsible for.

so i guess, "over it" isn't the correct phrase really. and the only thing about dallas that has gone awry is the traffic, urban sprawl, lack of asthetic beauty, the stress of never having enough, and the place in my life of having to wait tables that i just can't seem to shake no matter how hard i wiggle.

taking the good with the bad,
missie rose