Thursday, October 28, 2004
after i left the allgood, years ago, sj tolled me customers would ask her, "where's that cute little earthy looking girl?". everyone has their own signature style-and i guess to some mine is the earth babe. i am addicted to nice fitting white t'shirts, black tank-tops, cords, flowy skirts, blue jean jackets, mary-janes, a splash of burberry brit, shimmery brown eye shadow, and mocha colored lipstick. though today, i bring my natural look to a whole new level-i'm wearing merrills, a hiking tennie shoe.
and listening to the thrills and magnetic fields. two bands, that took my interest by complete suprise. music is constantly doing that to me: making me believe i like one thing then bewildering me delightfully with something totally off the charts. it's part of the reason why i love it. in a way, i feel it knows me better than i know myself. but not near enough time is spent anymore enjoying it-turning off the lights, lighting all my candles, with the headphones on, allowing it's complexity and beauty to mesmerize me. mmmm. i highly suggest doing it with el gato and the verve.
then this morning i did something i hadn't done in years: i woke up early and went to the gym to work out. now, i would assume my idea of working out is slightly different than most peoples; still, i walked with incline for two miles. baby steps to the free weights and precor please.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
what started as going out for dollar ritas, quickly turned into a full blown drinking fiasco. i had had a tough and sucky weekend, and nothing sounded better monday evening more than tequilla, sweet and sour mix, whateverelsegoesinit, all frozen and sloshy coupled with chips & queso, and a some good happy company.
sj comes waltzing in, giddy from who just left to join us. an extra cup of queso is ordered. a second round of ritas are requested, "no salt please". andy arrives in his supo-denim jacket, gives the "*all my friends are guys" waitress a wink. the ritas are consumed hastily, happily. again. we laugh. we chat. and now it's time to call a night.
or was it....
kate arrives better late than never. a cell phone is ringing. plans are being conversed. i'm told sj and belle's presence has been requested at the genghis grill. kates in. obviuosly, andy is in. sj is in. belle is in. i've had three margaritas, one shitty weekend still poking it's ugliness into my side, four of my good friends in arms reach, so i'm in too.
we arrive at GG and are immediately greeted with skooners of beer. then shots. then more beer. then more shots. i know my limit has already been exceeded, like back at the second rita exceeded. typically, i'm better than this. smarter, wiser, more controlled, more cool, more "oh, i better not but thanks anyways". but all logic was no where to be found, and so, i found myself stumbling over to a booth, and passing out. then over the toliet. then waking up with the lights still on. and feeling disgusting, kinda like a hangover-kinda like hell.
* the "all my guys are friends" girl: this female does not get along with other girls. she claims she relates better to the male gender than to her own, mostly because, as she will, like a robot, explain, that all girls are back biting and bitchy(subsitute with shallow for the dudish chick). and she is so not. i personally have met many of such females, and have been told, " but i like you. your different"; and despite such desperate yet admirable attempts at flattering me, have come to the conclusion that such are the worst and bitchiest of them all. and the only reason i believe the male population will befriend the bitch-in-disguise is in hope of getting in her pants or to use her to make an X jealous. as for the guy that genuinely emphatizes with said female, well, he is a work all of his own.
Saturday, October 23, 2004
living with a smoker is one thing-but living with a smoker who just quit smoking is a whole other ball game. their moody, irritable, over-sensitive, and irrational...i guess because their moody, irritable, and over-sensitive. basically, their me during pms. up until this past month, patti and i had not had a single dispute or conflict of amiablity. she did her thing and i did mine. mine of course, was staying out of her way and in the shadow of being busy, social, and productive. that though was so ever slightly altered after both full-time jobs dissolved leaving me with one part time job; and my sister and best friend moved back into the country becoming semi-permanent figures around the house/room. still, i try my upmost to stay out of the way and advise my guests to do the same, especially after the first rebuttal and insight into her resolution. then this morning, i was beckoned for another "we need to talk" talks, and this time, her frustration carried hefty discontent for the state of things. but the state of things, in reality, has nothing to do with me. they have to do with her. her being irritable because her body is going through withdrawal from twenty years of nicotine indulgence. and i am, quite frankly, getting tired of allowing her use me as her whipping boy. so to speak.
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
where was my mind?
i feel this disclaimer is important, i'm twenty-five years old-i didn't know who the pixies were till the pixies weren't. in 1988, when surfer rosa was released, i was spending my friday nights at kristy nugen's house playing girl talk, organizing my caboodle, snaking on bagel bites, idolizing dj from full house, and, more relevant, listening to debbie gibson or amy grant.
then some years back, while working at cd warehouse, i came across doolittle. by no means did i think it was anything less than brilliant-it was just, at that stage in my budding adulthood, i was more interested in bands such as u2, the verve, blur, echo and the bunnymen, delirious, and radiohead. and so the pixies, through these suceeding years, remained as a band i'm quite aware i should fall down on my knees to worship; and the closest thing my generation will ever have that is comparable to what the Beatles did for rock and roll back in their day. and that was all...until last night when i saw with my own two eyes what the generation before me had been seeing for a decade and a half: belief.
in loo of...
all monday long, sj and i discussed our evening plan: to attend one of deep ellum film festival parties with robert duval to be in attendance. i even used it as an excuse to call an old friend just so i could have a reason to talk to him about something, his all time favorite actor...or so i pretended. but come that evening, as we sat on the patio of starbucks enjoying fall's greatest attribute: the spice pumpkin latte, we realized we didn't know the exact time the event started, that i, at bare minimum, needed to run a comb through my hair and dazzle my lashes with a coat of mascara, and after a full throttle mexican lunch, if the funds permitted it anymore-whatever the cost of admittance was.
as the reality of us having dropped the ball creeped slower into realization, we shifted direction to preventing of the dissolution of future plans/empty evenings. as of course, a plan should have a plan reaching further than a notion. and that lead to this list:
1.KnitWits: Lakewood Library
(214)670-1376 call about if we need to bring our own yarn and needle.
2.Meadows Jazz Orchestra in the Caruth Auditorium
*ended up seeing the Pixies at the last minute instead*
3.Art Stop: Dallas Museum of Art
sign in at information desk. bring your own sketch book and pencil.
*next week, next week. this week plans have been already made for SITC au jus cosmopolitans; then off to see the Strange Boys at Double Wide later later in the evening*
4.The Art of Mendhi: the Crow Collection of Art
10-11am call to reserve seat in class.
All About Bats: Green Living in Lakewood
Family Outreach Volunteer Information Session
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sunday, October 17, 2004
being both sleep deprived and dehydrated, rachel and i ended brunch with a resolve to catch an afternoon matinee. but before that was to come about, two of our fellow brunchians needed to make haste back to austin; goodbyes were exchanged, and before i knew it, there i was sitting in front of rachels television, searching tivo for pre-recorded sex in the city. in one of the episodes carrie and charollette meet for dessert at some restaurant; and of course, this instigates not only a rumble in my tummy, but also, a serious craving for something sweet, and more specifically, creme brulee.
being collectively sleep deprived, dehydrated, and now yearning caramlized creamy goodness, rachel and i made another resolution to commence our afternoon matinee with some infamous creme brulee. this spurred online searching for the best creme brulee in dallas, and after exhausting link after link, we finally decided sambucawas the ticket. and i mean ticket, because after the first one, we got a second, and then debated on whether or not to get a third.
hop, skip, and a jump later we were at the magnolia watching the motorcycle diaries; which i had not a clue that it was in subtitles, and probably would have attained more from the film had i seen it not on a day where all i wanted to do was to be acting out my day via r.e.m. still, the film was exceptional and natalie portman's boyfriend portrayed quite a handsome revolutionary indeed.
the movie was over by 7:30, but i had not a wink of energy to be exerted-nor did rachel, and so we said our farewells. on my way driving home, and because i let taylor borrow my/belle's portable cd player so that he could familiarize himself with a band he was getting paid to play with, i was listening to the adventure club(a two hour program the local alternative radio station does every sunday night to make themselves feel alright for all the complete shite they play the other 166 hours of the week) and heard this band from denton called midlake. sure i heard them before, and sure i thought they were just another radiohead/grandaddy wannabe suck assers; and ok, so i heard the new album a few months back and proclaimed it's shocking likeability, but their was something totally different in hearing them on the radio, it was refreshing-it was good, real good. in fact, good enough to add it to my
right along with Young Heart Attack, who i've known about for quite some time but not until last night did i possess the proper knowledge of their greatness to stimulate their placement on my ever evolving
*Want List. i can't claim that i was suprised at how rawk Young Heart Attack was, i've had an insiders inclination that they would be; however, i will admit how surprised i was that an excessive amount of boozes gave rachel and stephanie the insolence to be less than shy concerning a tid bit of juicy information i had so regretfully shared. but as i disclosed previously this afternoon and then this evening, i understand that one day i'll look back and laugh my ass off at the thought of their unabashed subtlety (yes, this oxy-moron is very well intended) to it's cast. but anyways, later at the party i exchanged "most embarrassing moment" stories with steven the bass player; talked mostly music with another bass player from another band, and before i knew it, it was four something in the morning. bassists just seem to have a way with me and me with them, if only, as in this story, in being drawn toward one another at a party by embracing conversational harmony of intellect and aesthetics. it's especially comforting when the both of you are six or seven drinks behind everyone else.
which i hope to compensate for tomorrow with a dollar rita or two at ozonos. hurry home belle!!!
*Want List: Arcade Fire: Funeral, Dandy Warhols: The Black Album, Jon's hot ass, Wilco: A Ghost Is Born, Interpol: Antics,Tom Waits: Real Gone, and now Midlake:Bamnam and Silvercork, and Young Heart Attack: Mouthful of Love.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
the pumpkin carving project,
or compumkin as ryan would put it.
i placed my pumpkin in the back seat and fastend the seat belt over it's akward spooky face/bodice, at this moment, kate came running out of her house to my car, still dotting the mardi-gras inspired green beaded necklace and indian head band we had precedently decided to be appropiate post-carving attire, to anxiuosly give me two ziploc bags full of pumpkins seeds. earlier in the evening as steph and myself slowly and socially slaved away at our hallow creations, kate had been a busy little bee, already finished with her orange goolish friend, she had then set off to the business of seasoning and roasting the seeds. but not until, i got into my car did i notice the fall themed stickers she had decorated the bags with.
to be continued...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
sweeter, nicer, more enjoyable.
huh, i noticed i'm constantly wanting to rip off song titles or lyrics for my titles. it's like a bad case of local news transistional piece retardness. that's a mouthful alright. well, i didn't want to leave my blog on a venting note. i've been doing alot of that lately as is, and i suppose, it's to compensate for the diminutive desire i have to write, as so, my vents are the only thing that survives the lack luster of blogging these days. i need to do more reading. that always seems to motivate me. and speaking of reading( like that?!?), i think i'm going to call quits on "the rise of theodore roosevelt". which is unfortunate because, apart from spending money on it, i was really looking forward to letting m.turner borrow it after i finish it so we can discuss the life and times of such a fascinating president. god, i wish you could inject audible sarcasism into sentences of which it is the intent. but seriously, the last book i can remember socially reading was the "count of monte cristo", which is a frekkin awesome book and one of my top favorites to date, but gee that was ages and ages ago. a correlating memory just caught up with me concerning that book. funny how a subject of focus and interest can swiftly, and without notice, lead straight into a well forgotten and cherished one.
i'm listening to neil halstead. memories are everywhere tonight; lingering heavy in the songs as well. it was after a neil halstead show in dallas that i met heather for the first time. her, some girl who wanted to be a groupie, erik, the band, and i ended up happily situated in a booth at the metro( a greasy spoon that tastes so good when you've had too much to drink). i don't remember why but he paid for my meal, a delicious grilled cheese sandwhich and a bowl of tomatoe soup, but he did. he also suggested we all come to the austin show, so the next day erik and i hopped in the infamous audi, turned up the tunes, and burned rubber as we went.
this evening i went to the state fair. it too was good times. though, steph and mark did most of the quote un quote fun (meaning riding rides. i'm way too virgo to trust a carnie with my life). instead i found immense delight and content with consuming corn dogs and funnel cakes and beer.
which made me think of the year jon and i went and did nothing, and i mean did nothing, but eat.
on such a thought, i'll retire to lulaby land.
dos equis or milk?!?
to the abstract thinker: abstract is factual if abstract is factual to you. and to the factual thinker: factual is factual and abstract is abstract, point effin blank.
somehow conversations between mark and i have an incessant tendency to drift to such debates; and tonight at the meridian room was no different. i understand logic wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the existence of illogical, and rational to irrational. positives, to be a positive, must have a negative. but to associate the meaning of a positive as a negative is absurd; to speculate that my beer is beer only because of collective conscious and my perception of it, is pretty much insanity to me. i once wondered how such a great percentage of the american populace could even entertain the notion of voting for a candidate such as john kerry; or, how one could deem abortion murder than justify it under a grave circumstance. what, did the act of abortion become something other than murder because the girl was rapped or is it still murder? then, if so, is murder now OK because she was rapped?!? that may seem heartless and narrow minded to some but to others it's calling the facts facts and reality reality no matter how unfair it might seem or how difficult it truly is. unfortunately for many today, truth is no longer an absolute, factual is in the eye of the beholder, and reality is conceptual.
i've grown to hate philosophy but after tonight, i think we could all benefit from a little more Kant in our lives.
Friday, October 08, 2004
the improbable makes for reasonable reasoning.
the imagination runs. it stops; rewinds, and plays the scenerio in fast forward. laughter ensues, drama sparks a match, and we all collapse in our cashmere pajamas back to the comfort of pint size ice cream containers matched oh-so elequantly with tivo.
nine months is more than i want to dedicate myself, but i've never been one to resist an once in a lifetime oppurtunity. not more than once at least.
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
well, i was planning on finishing a satirical 'true or false' post on john kerry's dubious accusations and proclamations, but over at candied ginger a plea was made for the blogosphere to offer something other than the political mumbo gumbo that has come over almost every blogger, and so being the people pleaser that i try to be, i'll refrain.
where to start..hmmm, i just got home from my second day of training at my newnew job;now, listening to modest mouse; later in the evening i''ll be attending an event at the arboretum with rachel, michelle, and stephanie; and, i just realized that i've had my windows open since sunday morning, it's been that beautiful outside.
sorry, but that's all i've got.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
POLISH PRESIDENT SLAMS KERRY AFTER DEBATE SNUB
"Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski has slammed Dem president hopeful John Kerry for not recognizing Poland's contributions and sacrifice to the war in Iraq.
"It is sad that a senator with 20 years of experience does not recognize Polish contribution. This is immoral," Kwasniewski told FACTS in an interview commenting on the US Presidential Debate.
"It is sad that a senator with 20 years of experience underestimates Polish sacrifice, this is sad."
The Polish President added however that one should consider this was a part of the ongoing electoral campaign.
"I do not think this was out of ignorance," the president emphasized on the TVN Facts.
"There is one thing which should be stated clearly: this coalition is not just the United States, Great Britain, Australia alone; it also involves participation of Polish, Ukrainian, Bulgarian and Spanish soldiers who have died. It is immoral not to recognize the involvement we contributed based on our conviction that there should be unity in fighting terrorism, that there was a need to display international solidarity and that Saddam Hussein was a dangerous individual of this world."
"President Bush acted like a real Texan gentleman, he made sure to show appreciation for other countries' involvement in the coalition," Kwasniewski pointed out."
see also candace's, '60 years after 63 days of absolute heroism'.
Monday, October 04, 2004
with all the time i spend on the internet,it's a shame i can never find an adequate remainder to blog, but that right there could be the very culprit. i get so consumed; lost in article after article, sifting my way through the drudge report and then to various blogs that by the time i make it to blogger, i'm spent. but my god, i can't become that blogger who blogs about not blogging, or worse, about trying to blog.
so moving right along and past my fear.
today i started a new job. yes, another new job. the oldnew place where i worked at had issues. like, bouncing my paycheck issues and the owner being a complete ass who never took full responsability for his mistakes sort of issues. and so, despite my disgust for having to start all over again at somewhere new, i had to give severines' the axe. this newnew place i started at tonight is by far the classiest and hippest joint of them all; and they seem to have it togather unlike the prior, which, after this evening's exquisite wine and appetizer tasting, i wonder why i always try so hard to hold onto places and things that have gone awry. is it laziness or loyalty? maybe, a perfect mixture...whatever the case may be, the older i get, the more i realize how much of a trend this issue has played in my life; how much it has shaped and molded who and what i am. and moreso, where i am. dallas. still in, dallas. though, not a slam against this city, i'm just..over it.
earlier in the day, i spoke on the phone with stephanie. she is currently in nyc trying to find a place to live, and doing so quite fashionably in killer boots from what i hear. this has been her dream since, well, as long as i've known her, fourteen something years ago in middle school. her: an aspiring dancer in the big apple. but this afternoon on the phone, steph began to share her hesitation; a reluctancy, if you will. i believe her exact words were, "i'm thinking, why not Seattle. i can do the same thing there." and upon hearing that word utter with the intention of one's replacement put upon it, a fire was sparked. "Seattle", it rolled off my lips like dr.pepper made with imperial sugar cane only can do. the thing is, i would love to move to the northwest and i've wanted to for years and years and years but something...everything has always kept me here in dallas. here in dallas was my debt. here in dallas was my job to fix my debt. though on the other hand: here in dallas was my family. here in dallas are some amazing friends. here in dallas are evenings spent playing scrabble, or going to see That Band play. here in dallas is michelle, is rachel, is kate, is tiffany. girls that are four in a million: intelligent, refined, non-pretensious, kind, considerate, loyal, witty, adventerous, and laid back. the type of people after you meet you feel like you won the lottery, and then you get to know them and your positive their is a god because people like that are just too wonderful for anti-matter to be responsible for.
so i guess, "over it" isn't the correct phrase really. and the only thing about dallas that has gone awry is the traffic, urban sprawl, lack of asthetic beauty, the stress of never having enough, and the place in my life of having to wait tables that i just can't seem to shake no matter how hard i wiggle.
taking the good with the bad,