Monday, March 23, 2009

endorsing the hermit life

take away the most recent of illnesses and this past winter has still been an ass kicking. i'm not exaggerating in the least when i say we've been sick practically every other week since december, and the only culprit i can think of is that this winter, unlike last, we actually come out of our den a few times a week to practice social skills and to test my patience in public places.

but this whole being sick incessantly business is beginning to make rethink our necessity for human connections and sunlight. last winter was a bit dull, and at times, painfully lonely, but oh how healthy we were!

my last stop before moving us to a deserted island will be the healthy food approach, and i mean, the crazy people healthy food approach. i've already stopped by our hippie food store and bought cow colostrum, baby jarro wordicantspell stuff, flax oil, wheat germ, and buckwheat. but that's just the beginning of the agave icing. i plan on going all out, blending in spirulina into friggin asscakes if i have to. i might be divorced after jon finds soy bacon in the MEAT drawer instead of the good Lords intended pork bacon, but damnit if we aren't all as healthy as richard simmons circa 1980.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

oh me, oh my.

the past week here was nothing short of Armageddon, except jon and me didn't have that moment where we layed in basking sunlight as he ate animal crackers out of my navel, which would never work anyways because, first of all, i have neither an innie or an outie, it's really the perfect belly button, and if i were to name 2 favorite parts of my body, it would, hands down, be my legs and that weirdly perfect navel of mine. and second of all, as pertaining to why jon and me didn't have that Moment, is as plain as, i feel very convicted that food should only be eaten off plates and my childrens head (and that because sometimes when holding them while eating, i miss my mouth and say, noodle, lands on their head).

so last monday was when our world began to unravel-it started with the stomach flu, one of the worst cases of stomach flu i have yet to live to tell about, and it happened to all of us except truman. jon was thankfully done vomiting his brains out when conrad and me began unloading ours all over the carpet and sofa, in conrads case, and all in the bathtub, in my case. after surviving that, the very next day conrad started acting VERY sick and a trip to the doctor later i was told he had a double ear infection, pneumonia, and the obvious, diarreha. which leads us to a trip to the ER on thursday night when conrad started projectile vomiting and screaming of abdominal pain. there we learned he didn't have pneumonia but RSV and loads of gas, and the rest to boot. the vomiting, diarrhea, crying in pain lasted up till yesterday but then on saturday truman started coming down with RSV symptoms and by yesterday I was back at the doctors office with him. there hasn't been much sleep, and of course, jon has a cold and conrad is still dealing with the RSV.

i know i'll look back on this one day, but i highly doubt i'll ever laugh about it.