Tuesday, June 26, 2007

life of the party

if conrad had any idea his father and i could produce a baby for him to play with he'd probably crawl all the way to the store on the burning concrete for some marvin gay, oysters, red wine, and dark chocolate for us.

at the pool today, i witnessed my little eleven month old child scream with glee and laugh as he chased around the other kids in the kiddie pool. they were playing Shark and somehow conrad became It, with me as his fins.

here are some pictures i took on our way to the pool, and as we're drying off.

Friday, June 22, 2007

i swear i must have the most precious child in the history of children. just a moment ago i was giving conrad a bottle(after eleven wonderful months of breastfeeding, my boobs are unfortunately fading) before putting him down for his nap-he laid in my arms, gazing up at me while reaching his free hand towards my face-for the past few weeks he has been incessant with pointing to things to hear what they are-and so, as he pointed his index finger to my facial features i, with a soft voice, began to rattle of their names: nose, eyes, mouth, chin, ears. then, i pointed to his nose and whispered nose, then to eyes, his mouth, his chin buried under the bottle, and then to his ears, and at the sensation of my finger in his ear, the worlds most adorable giggle came bellowing out. i repeated this several times, and several times he did that same exact giggle, drawing in closer as if to cling on to me for safety from my tickling finger.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

conrad and i were planning on going to the spray park out in jacksonville when in walked his father, hours before we expected to see him. i already had the pool tote/largest- most awesomest bag you have ever seen, because for some reason, going to the pool now involves more than a walkman, banana boat sun grease, and a beach towel, now it involves: two towels, spf 1000 sunblock, bag of snacks my mother would be proud of me for packing (hummus, cherries, cucumbers, whole wheat crackers), swim diapers, extra change of clothes for the kiddo, two hats, sunglasses, sippy cup, arsenal of toys, swim ring, and extra patience for when i go to put him in his swim diaper and he fights me at every cost to be freed from my "better interest" shenanigans.

i had gotten everything together during conrad's nap and was mentally set on getting out of the house to enjoy the nice summer day; and better yet, with jon being home, the three of us could go together, and instead of the spray park, i decided we should go to the public pool down the street. now, a few days prior conrad and i went. it was opening day and everybody and their mothers uncle, aunt, cousins, grampops were there; and not only that, but the medford swimming pool i found out was Ghetto, more ghetto than north grand prairie. we walk in and pay and are ushered through a womens locker room no decent women would ever claim belongs to our gender. the walls were tattered, the floors unmatted, the bathroom a toilet behind a curtain, and a rusty old bench against the wall. out at the pool, there was no benches or pool furniture, just the concrete and a tad of shade from the barbed wire fence surrounding it. i had no choice but to drop our bag and lay out our towel right there on the hot concrete and change conrad into his swim diaper and shorts. like the optimist i am, i made the best of the situation-i smiled as i stepped down into the urine drenched pool and conrad knew none the better: he splashed and kicked with his usual gaity. but now that jon was home, i thought we would try it again. perhaps it wouldn't be so crowded and perhaps, being opening day at our last visit, they weren't ready-things might be nicer. all such notions went flying out the window and back into the crapper once we got there. it was actually more crowded than opening day. none the less, jon and conrad and i jumped in and found a pocket of open water not occupied. then i went of the diving board and after my third dive i nailed a beautiful pikes peak. there is nothing like hitting the water like a knife and shooting down twelve feet effortlessly.

it only took a hour for conrad to lose interest, so we packed up and loaded him back into his car seat with his sippy cup in hand. looking at him back there i began to see the little boy and less of the baby. he is changing so much, and not only developmentally but a shift in the makeup of his stature.

today we went out to the ashland pool and man was it night and day. the drive is twenty minutes but it's wonderful out there: a grassy knoll around the pool with huge oak trees and lounge chairs and a baby pool and a fourth of the crowd. we were there for over a hour and by the time we made it home conrad was asleep. i opened the back door and just stood there staring at him...he was still my baby.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

there are a few pregnancy related habits i have, eleven months later, yet to shake. one of which is farting...anywhere, without hesitation or inhibition; another is my belief that craving, say bagels, must be met, as highest priority, trumping everything else; and whereas i love that i can let one ripe and then blame it on conrad or make "buy cupcakes" number one on my to do list, crying in the animated movie, Robots, when i had only been watching it for five minutes, is really just too much.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

i know, i know, "isn't he a little young for the park" you say. and sure, true he doesn't quite understand a slide is meant to be slid down, or that monkey bars aren't a snare for mommy to bang her head into, or for that matter, how to walk over to the swing set, but, in our defense, damn do we ever have a blast when were there.

this little girl Loved conrad and for awhile conrad was into her, that was until he discovred the playground floor was composed of wood chips that he could grap in handfuls. later this same little girl gave me daisies out of her undies, and was i to do except take them and put them in my hair.

no, those are not my green toe nails, as much as i'd like to lie and say i've moved on past clear nail polish, i haven't. nor have i yet to wear eyeliner or lipstick darker than nude. it is conrad's aunt jessica's snazzy toes and conrad wearing his sunglasses. this picture was insanely hard to take, as conrad was set on a. taking off his sunglsses and b. chasing me.

this is one of conrad's favorite games, he calls it "pull all the books out and then wait for mommy to put them back and pull them all out again". it's endless fun, literally.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

us, 05/2007
squaw lakes (or indian bitch lakes as i like to refer to it)

Friday, June 08, 2007


we packed ourselves in, the six of us, hoping and itching to find what we had set out for; looking out of the car window, i watched the clouds pull back to the empty landscape, the empty landscape open to promise and daydreams meet with a soundtrack of idle conversation and hissing wind. it was the dead of winter, a southern winter, and i had forgot to pack a hat and scarf. flow, a nickname launie had earned earlier that week after taking a job at a greasy spoon, none of us, not even dave, the poorest of us, was willing to take, but flow had fallen in love with a burger flipping line cook, and despite the groups incessant advice, had applied and been hired for the red eye waitressing shift.

Monday, June 04, 2007

like throw up in your mouth

"god missie, your so cute it's nauseating." -girl at work

followed by a later conversation in which my desire to put puppies in my mouth, i was told, is largely due to that nauseating cuteness i exude.

glad to know i've still got it.