Saturday, November 12, 2011

most evenings, after the kids are in bed and the mess from the day has been tamed, i sit on the couch with the laptop perched where it's name suggests and browse all the wonders of the internet. i know i should be reading a book, or journaling, or knitting sweaters for the homeless, or learning an instrument, or baking bread, or brushing up on the romanian i never really learned, or writing 6 year late wedding thank-you cards, or re-arranging my sock drawer, but i don't. i veg out. i have my favorites, sites that check me out of reality and into a fantastical state of clean lines and the couture inspired : dwell studio, design public, wallpaper, modcloth, and fly london. then there is the allure of researching a random thing, or place, or an idea to no end, of which i thank craigslist and wikipedia and the google search engine. just this week i've garnered the most necessary of knowledge to include "which cars are the best for city driving", 12/12/12 (supposedly the world is going to end and the best place to be is up on a mountain in africa), work visas for australia and new zealand, enlarged lymph nodes in the neck, and thyroid disorders...all of them.

i'm not proud of this, albeit i'm quite aware how deserved it is. i really do have the most rewarding and awesome job in the world, but it's also the hardest. still, i really should demand more of myself, at the very least, as it's occurring now, i could blog.

i went on a hike this morning, and if you were hearing me write this in my head then you would know i use that word "hike" very loosely. even as i'm about to type the following i'm hesitating because i realize most people live somewhere that even the jacksonville trails would sincerely be considered a hike. i don't, and i should: i'm from dallas. it's just i've been HIKING and while i absolutely love all the trails that make their way up and around our little town and that are less than a mile from my doorstep, it's definitely a far cry from being in the wilderness or attaining that pristine vista. but as i mentioned, it's less than a mile, maybe a mile, from my door step and so on a saturday morning when there are many other things to be accomplished it fits the bill.

and i do enjoy it-i love it. in fact, i'm always so glum when the trail meets it's dissolution and i find myself on a street or back at the trail head. i want it to go on forever and forever. it's the smell of the forest, the trees encompassing me, the quiet hush of solitude, a twig snapping, a bird in flight, my Creator and me. it's crack to my soul. as i was reaching the top of beekmans loop i could see the hills (in texas they would be classified as mammoth mountains) all adorned in autumns splendor, homes nestled in crevices, and the sky so blue. this spot has become a special spot for me, partly because it has a bench and by the time i make it up there i'm ready to sit and catch my breath, but mostly because it's a place God and I have all to ourselves. i had lots of these sort of places growing up-a field, or a nook under a bridge, and i would visit them regularly chatting away with God, mostly me doing all the talking, but during these visits He also taught me how to be quiet and how to not just hear Him but how to see Him.

and i see a Creator who is passionately in love with His creation; who puts songs on our hearts and wonder in our eyes; who is more compassionate than we give Him credit for; who whispers in the wind and in the absence of wind; who heals and restores; who inspires.