Monday, October 27, 2008

blog ketchup

i feel a sense of shame in admitting this, but the thought crossed my mind once or twice of stopping the blog thing with my last momentous post: the birth of baby number two. it was a fleeting thought, afterall, i have been doing this for something like five years now, and after five years of divulging different parts and events of my life and Psyche, i don't think that even if i wanted to end it i could.

over two months have passed since truman was born and since i wrote anything. naturally much has happened in two months-truman slept, he ate, he gained nine pounds; conrad started eating things other than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and copying every little single word i say. and i'm almost back to looking like me, and feeling like me. it's amazing how smoothly i've transitioned into being a mother of two, and dealing with the lack of sleep. even the relationship between jon and i is a lot less tense this time around, which has to be the biggest shocker because after conrad was born we were sworn enemies there for awhile.

i'm coming out of a long spiritual dryness. the "drawing me near" isn't anything new, looking back on the past two years it's quite evident it has been a gradual process- a stripping of this, an adding of that, and a heart that is completely broken, heavy, and longing to please my God in not just words and things that are easy for me to comply with but with every 'deed'. the whole banning China thing, of recycling, of signing every petition against human rights sent my way, of smiling at strangers on the street, and knowing and wanting that there is more i can do in helping the needs of others, has been just a fraction of it. i've also started feeling the need and desire to be a part of a church, of daily devotion, and worship. i feel alive again. close to Intention.

politics has been a hot topic in our house over the past few months as well. jon is a pundit of sorts with mini-editorials at the dining room table to entertain me. i have no idea who i'm voting for, though i know who i'm not voting for. and it starts with an O. principle tells me i should go third party but there is this little voice that keeps telling me if i don't vote for McCain and Obama wins it'll all be my fault. i think that little voice is wolf blitzer.

well over the humming of the computer i hear a two year old not taking his nap.

till next time.