Wednesday, July 30, 2008

38 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and almost, so very close, to being completely moved in.

saturday morning jon woke up and the first thing he did, according to him albeit, was pick up a box i had packed the night or the past few NIGHTS before and walk it out to the uhaul. that sort of 'get it done' pace didn't end, and in a way, hasn't yet ended till maybe now.

i was almost certain i was going to wake up moving day and go into labor and we were going to be totally screwed but baby truman is already demonstrating how agreeable is by giving us some time to adjust into our new home. or "newy" as conrad refers to it. their are a few boxes here and there-one in the bathroom, a few out on the back deck, and one in the living room-that need unpacked, and yes, resting against the bookshelf are half a dozen framed pictures that need to be hung, but otherwise, i mean we have gang banged this move.

like with the past house, we once again have more room than we know what to do with. seriously, jon was home this morning and it took me like fifteen minutes to find him. it is a three bedroom but with two large bonus rooms and a huge dining room, living room. fireplace. large front porch, back deck. two story. there is so much space that is just begging me to fill it. so far, i love this house. i love all it's charm and the beautiful fully fenced back and front yard. i even like our neighbors.

our old neighborhood was definitely, hands down, better; we're back over in the 501 side of town, but our street is nice, a little pocket of old bigger homes with beautiful lawns and no crazy lady next door to randomly walk into our back yard to blow bubbles with conrad. and to think we're only paying $25 more a month for it!

the only draw back thus far are the curtains downstairs. i thought we might be able to do some curtain juggling and get those God awful ugly things out of sight, but the rods their on are only for pull curtains, though i doubt that's the word for them, and to re-place 4, 10 foot wide window curtain rods is like more money than we have. so on they stay till either i score at a yard sale or we decide we don't need to eat for two weeks. either one.

this house definitely feels like a home. and i definitely feel like a 38 week pregnant women who just moved into it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

if not here then where?!?

i realize i come here often when there is nobody else who will let me punch them in the face and i need some sort of outlet, or thing to take it out on. Internet, i'm sorry, but in my imagination you have a giant red bulls eye painted in the middle of the monitor and it's just a bruising for a cruising.

oh conrad. oh tuesday. oh fcking shitty of a tuesday with conrad.

and really, even before conrad opened his can of whoop ass and utter defiance on me, i had this sour milk in my mouth taste making me gauge over the kitchen sink taste as i tried to clean out the sippy cup from whence it came from and in doing so shot a ginormous projectile of dish soap across the kitchen, that had me wondering what sort of day i might be in for. of course, i had that premonition thanks to the sour milk i drank and the uncontrollable desire to throw up because of it which lead to the violent scrubbing out of the sippy cup and the dish soap that went flying across the room. typically, not a good sign all is going to go smoothly for the rest of the day. and it hasn't.

back to conrad.

there are weeks my son is perfect. i mean PERFECT. like a little angel that floated down from heaven on a cloud made of puffed sugar strumming a harp that massages you as you hear it. and then there are weeks he redefines the TERRIBLE in terrible twos. this dichotomy of character is puzzling to me, and even worse, everytime we go through it i am completely thrown off because it seems to come out of no where and i have just gotten use to the perfect little being, previously known as, conrad.

today was such a day, though with yesterday indicating such a storm was brewing. still, i wasn't prepared. i know it's a battle of wills i have to win, and once i do, things will subside; i won't look and sound like That Mean Mother when we're at the Children's Festival in Jacksonville and conrad doesn't want to hold my hand and i am gripping his little wrist pulling on him to get off the ground scowling, "one more time, you can either WALK HOLDING MY HAND or mommy can carry you. which one do you want to do? PICK!"

neither will we have to leave early from the park because somebody won't stop biting me when i'm instructing him on what's civilized and what's not.

yes, after i win this battle for a temporary period of time, our days will be back to frolicking in the soft grass at the park, swimming happily in the cool pool, and dancing like monkeys to music.

today, however, i'm wishing for a stiff drink and a babysitter and a innocent bystander to clothesline.

Monday, July 21, 2008


today, or at least right now, might not be the best time to write about the inexplicable joy that occurred two years, and one day ago today. or how every day i wake up and think to myself how bitch slapping lucky i am to be conrad's mommy, and how there could be no absolute hell frozen over way that he could be any cuter or any more precious than the previous day, and of course, the moment i lay eyes on his crazy bed head and sleepy eyed face i'm flabbergasted because of course somehow in the middle of the night he managed to get even cuter and sweeter and more lovable. it never seems possible but he always is, and does.

though to write about these things right now i'm having to strain, because he is a two year old and like two year olds he has his moments, unfortunately, just moments ago we had a moment: him with a butt smeared in crap trying to kick me and twist violently as i attempted to wipe him, and after a few swats on the ass and a clean diaper put on, he resisted the tucking into nap time by standing up in his bed in defiance and hitting me. this revolt against nap time isn't anything new, last week i think he only napped once. however, the days where no sleep occurred were days he spent back there happily playing in and destroying his room without such angst as today. who knows why today he's a little more grrrrr. i doubt even conrad knows.

but yes, yesterday was conrad's 2nd birthday. we celebrated last sunday when all jon's family was in town so when yesterday rolled around we decided to take it chill; first thing that morning we surprised conrad with a train table and train set i super scored on craigslist with and practically had an aneurysm trying to put together the night before-i don't think people with two functioning sides of the brain should have such a hard time connecting train pieces and yet i did. we went to the donut shop for breakfast, conrad and jon went to the park while i took a mid-morning nap to recoup from all the brain energy exerted the night before putting together the train set, and then from there on out it was hanging out at the house, playing in the sprinklers, finger painting, walking around the block with daddy, pizza, and nemo.

i use to try and blog about all conrad's changes and developments, but there is no way unless i tape a key board to my chest and log around the pc on a leash behind me, i can possibly keep up with him anymore. who he is and is becoming grows and blossoms on a daily basis. the words, the physical accomplishments, the concepts, the quirks, the personality traits....holy cow, it's dizzying.

at two years old he already has such a grasp on comedy and humor. which is obviously loads of fun for everyone but it also makes disciplining him quite challenging as he views the world through these silly goggles where everything and anything is a joke, even spankings and threats of sending teddy bear to be the new host on the View if he doesn't shape up. and yet amidst that too silly for his own good disposition lies this super lovey dovey who understands the power of a hug, the intimacy of a kiss, the quelling affect of a snuggle with mommy.

put him in a room with every cool new toy, cookies, kids his own age laughing and playing, and a dog and conrad will go directly to the dog. and after a few minuets of being with that dog he will have mastered every wag and pant and bark of said dog, then for the next few days following he will still be calling out the dogs name in hope said dog comes galloping up to him and knocks him down and slobbers all over his face. conrad is a serious dog person. and if it wasn't written out so clearly in our lease agreement i swear even though i'm 9 months pregnant yesterday conrad and i would have gone out and gotten a puppy for his birthday.

the most striking thing about conrad these days is this Monkey See Monkey Do stage. i mean he mimics EVERYTHING! from the way i sit in a chair to the way jon holds his cup. EVERYTHING! at times it's quite flattering and other times it's a wake up call to how i project myself to him. for example, the other day conrad brought it to my attention how ridiculous i look when i sigh out of frustration.

i'm more than excited for 2 to 3. i know this year will have some challenges, but so far, and i'm crossing my legs since i can't cross my fingers as i type...or can i, nope, all the frustrations are happily out weighed by all the amusement and wonder of this age. i LOVE hearing him yell out WOW as we go over a huge bridge, or watch him giggle profusely because dogs ears twitch when you blow into them. daily, hourly he is allowing and embracing life to awe him, and being around that just isn't humbling, it's infectious.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Check Out My Beard

i was planning on doing this tomorrow, tomorrow when silence and empty space are scheduled to return back to our currently chaotic and full house. but the opportunity is here now: the in laws left this morning back for salem and with them a flurry of activity 9 year old nephew plus random bags full of quilts and paper products, jon's brother and his wife are out for the afternoon at the river, jon is watching tv instead of hogging the computer with his new flight simulator addiction, and that little flurry of activity of my own, well conrad is napping. thus leaving me completely bewildered with the stillness and quietness and chance to catch up on the past two weeks of Internet activity.

quite alot has happened since the last time my fingers graced this key board i am currently gracing. conrad got sick. we went to salem. a bunch of sweet old ladies from dianna's church attended a baby shower for truman. i got sick. jon got sick. we came home. i finally got good sleep and got better. conrad got better. jon got better. then jon hurt his knee and almost ended up under the knife to remove his bursa but instead he's been monitoring it and nursing it with frozen bags of corn and broccoli. and i'll insert the anxiety of not knowing what we were in for; for some time there jon's condition was potentially limb threatening and if we actually had finances to ruin it would have been that to...not to mention for a few days we were unsure if jon would be able to stay employed and all this occurring at week 35 of my pregnancy with a full house of people to clean up after and sometimes make lunch for or dinner for with an impending move right around the corner and a 2nd birthday party i was trying to plan and implement. but all is ok now-jon's knee just might need more time to heal itself and it's not infected and so the bursa doesn't need removed, and even if it did we found out yesterday we qualify for 100% financial assistance at the hospital. as for being badly pregnant, i've had gramma's and granpa's and aunts and uncles and cousin tristan to help out with conrad, i've also found my inner-inner-inner energy to keep the house clean while "hosting", and throwing a party for a very special toddler, and do some of the things jon usually helps me out with since all he can really do is bake veggies on his knee.

there has also been an ultra-sound in all that too. truman is growing just fine. so am i. at 36 weeks i measure 36 cm, weigh 121 lbs, and have a vagina that is ready to explode from the all the pressure. seriously. my poor vag.

as much as it has been a little much with all the motion and visitors, it has been awesome too. in fact i might slit holes in jeremy's and jessica's car tires tonight so they can't leave in the morning, or EVER. i'm very excited at the thought of jess getting all baby infested and moving back this way to push strollers in the park and drink tequila behind the slides with me. though i think she's more of a wine cooler girl. could be a little tricky to hide a wine cooler under our petty coats but we'll see.

conrad is just waking up and since it is 7pm i should do something about that thing people call Dinner.

Monday, July 07, 2008

transmissions from our living room

conrad and i just finished breakfast, some delicious from scratch bran muffins, and now we want everyone to know we love the flaming lips. you should see us dance. you should hear conrad try to sing along.

suck on that barney!