i find myself waking up, waking up in the middle of the day with little to show for the beginning of the day and a hunch the remainder might not differ from that. the ambition is suffocating. we are thinking of a warmer place, a sunnier place but it all depends. i'll keep it as motivation, anyways. i've been looking for thoughts-a world of intrigue outside the discovery channel-but the only one i found worthreadingwhile was tainted. how in such a big world does that happen, i'll never know. i would think the separation of association would have more oceans or rivers or lakes or mountains or bus stops. i guess in some ways are all linked by virtue of happenstance or default or that which ties the past to the present: the unlikely likelihood whether we like it or not.

meanwhile, i'm missing those pivotal years where a kitten becomes a cat. the pictures on his myspace show the gradual change and i lament the fact that all i'll have to remember it by was his "view more pics". i can only hope little evalyn will know her aunt michelle more than i know her feline son, davy bowie. yes, i call him davy. or baby bowie. and when i lay down for sleep at night my mind takes me on little excursions where i find myself with evalyn doing things like feeding her green pea mush or playing peek a boo or imaging her teacher taking roll yelling out "evie eggert" to a "here" sweet little reply. but i don't know, maybe it'll be a landon or, as my father would like, a little fredrick the 4th. but that just would just be cruel.