Wednesday, May 12, 2004


no play on abbreviations, no sarcasism intended; a genuine internal debate of what-would-jesus-do if he found a great job he really liked and then one day found out that the establishment in which he was employed prohibited those of jewish and african descent club membership?

(off course in this hypothetical musing i'm quite aware that the all mighties right hand man would be too occupied with laying hands on the sick, raising the dead, and feeding the poor to diddle and doddle his power on kids running around the pool deck or making sure his guards are scanning their zone every 10 seconds, but...)

if the prelude to this job didn't include over 6 months of unemployment and poverty i don't think it'd be a question; i think i would have put in my two weeks at the confirmation of the rumors. but i need this job, i like this job and so i'm trying to justify it, to rationalize it, to hope that maybe i have misunderstood something that seems to be black and white...anti-sematism and bigotry. is making the right decision ever cut and dry easy or painless? i doubt it. do i have to take it to the extreme of quitting or is their another way to express my disapproval and disgust? how can i say i'm not like them if nothing in my actions contradict theirs? it can't, words equal actions and actions equal words. i'm not hoping to start a revolution, or even change the clubs potential member stiplulations, i simply don't want to be associated with an organization that has their nose stuffed up their white ass of supposed superiority. off course i understand it's their purogative as a private club to include whomever they want for whatever reasons and on the flip side to exclude whomever they want for whatever reasons, but for the life of me i can not comprehend how one human being can suppose himself to be better than another based on the color of skin or religion. i am not suggesting the naivete of an utopia mentality-that we are all the same; that their is no difference between nickleback and radiohead or russo and joe shcmo from art appreciation 101 or the guy in highschool who scored a 200 on his SAT's versus the girl who scored a 1450. i do believe that god created us differently: some to be leaders, some to be followers; some to be inventors, some to be laborers; some to be strong, and some to be weak. we all play a part, we all have our place in the hierarchy of life- sure i get that, but to asses ones worth, to exclude or include one soley from such criteria, and then to believe that hierarchy is based on what color ones skin is or isn't, or, where their grandparents were born or weren' just... unstinken real.

i think about certain scenes from history: the cambodian genocide of 1975, the brutal annihilation of millions of jews in europe during world war 2, the rising of the klu klux klan here in the united states, and i wonder how they ever occured in a civil society. the only conclusion i have reached is that those it did not affect chose to close their eyes and turn their back against blantant injustice and hatred. i'm not meaning to compare country club snobbery to extremes of intolerance...but i can't help but to draw comparisions to those whom claimed to be against segregation but when the therometer hit triple digits they happily swam in the "whites only" pool to myself working at a place that is anti-sematic and racist.

a friend i shared this concern with suggested i write an annymous letter to the club president expressing in a respectful and sincere manner my dismay to thier policies.

i really want to keep this job. i don't want to quit. and yet- i want to be a woman of integrity, i want to stand for the things i believe in and oppose, if only in contradiction, those things i'm agianst. i'm in a pickle of a predicament.


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