Friday, May 21, 2004

collection of anomalous occurances in the form of re in addition to random musings.

i remember that day; wrapping the towel around myself, opening the bathroom door and then waking up in a soaring and singing ambulance, the reliefed faces of strangers hoovering above me and soon after all this sank in came the retrospect of my mother crying, me on the floor, and then her calling 911. i had passed out. they said it was a combination of precariously mingled medication on an empty stomach followed by a nap in a hot bath that sent me to a brief state of immobilty and unconsciousness. it was nothing serious and at the tender age of 14, i was more embarrassed at the thought of my mother and a group strangers seeing me naked then prancing me out the front door on a stretcher for all the neighbors to gawk about.


i went to stand up. in the process of upward motion, the world went blank and the noise about it did a hi-fi distoration increasing in volume with every second i struggled to regain my sight. i was on stand in the deep end. two lifeguards didn't show up; highschool stuff for highschool kids who have little understanding of work ethic, that put me on stand on one of our busiest days yet. after what seemed to be eternity, my sight finally made out the translucent blue hue of the pool and the bodies flying into it off the diving board. i was fine but perplexed. then upset that i was stand while it happened because as a lifeguard one should be actively vigilent in awareness for the unexpected; however, at that point of being incapable to see let alone hear a distressed swimmer, i, miss kick ass lifeguard boss lady was not.

last night:

while enjoying r.e.m's embrace, i became aware that the tv was on although i went to sleep with it off. in fact i hadn't turned it on since the morning before. with this in mind r.e.m loosened it's grasp. i was tired, exhausted, but most of all confused as to how the tv turned itself on-and not only did it turn itself on but it was turned on to that station that preys off the eldery's retirement fund by selling "essential" prayer blankets in the name of the lord. said in a sweet southern accent off course. although my middle of the night home appliance freak fest wasn't trying to sell me sand from israel, instead there was a lady preaching about the promises of god and so i tried to listen just in case god was now in the business of this type of attention grabber. but after five minuets of trying to stay awake to hear what god was possibly wanting to tell me, i figured i got the jist of it; i claimed his promises for my life and asked him if he wouldn't mind finishing telling me the rest in my sleep because i had a super long day ahead of me in just a few hours.

which is soon about to start. at 11:00 i'm going to get my hair colored by a stylist who worships led zepplin and likes to share a six pack of corona with me while she cuts and colors. it's been ages since i've allowed myself to spend money on coloring my hair but sarah is awesome while my roots are not. i'm going to work from 2pm to 4am today so to hell with it i say.


my thoughts are occupied by a conversation in which i was tolled that my logic is different than theirs. now, if my logic is different than theirs that would make logic conditional upon the individual and since the defination of logic is the principles that guide reasoning within a given field or situation; and since principles are a basic truth, law, or assumption than what this person is saying is that truth and law in combination with assumption is objective. this statement is similar to the post-modernist; that truth is whatever is truth to you. in his case: logic is whatever logic is to you. if believing contrary to such a hypothetic makes me an illogical person than so be it but i believe that their is logical or illogical; their is fact and their is fiction. i do believe in grey but not as a separate entity from black and white but merely a prism of color that comes from the same light spectrum...thinking outside of the box while aware that the box does exist.

forget boxes:

i have all three of my best friends here on this site- from moscow to london to tokoyo, as teny tiny said, "Its a freaking international blog-reunion. Kisses and hugs to everyone." and boy do i agree.

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