i love april 22

because today is my fathers birthday. because today at 2:20pm belle will be here. because today is not yesterday.

and if you only knew what happened yesterday....you'd be kissing the gray sky this morning too. i loathe april 21. i really liked april 20. and now on april 22 i'm hoping things can be given the chance to turn around, afterall, apart from yesterday it was semi looking up, and, afterall, it's either time to make it or break it. the trick is this time i'm not going to make the same mistakes or exasperate myself in pursuit of squeezing something that may or may not be there. it involves risk taking; forgetting and trusting with my heart on the line. it's the scariest thing in the world to me. scarier than finding a scorpio in my shoe. scarier than swimming in a pool full of snakes and boy bands. scarier than getting my makeup done at one of those stands in dillards. but it's the only way for peace and compatability to have their chance to shine.

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