Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Department of Public Seducing:

Usually i'm happily suprised with my drivers license picture; my skin seems radiant, my hair shiny, my lips more full than I know them to be, my eyes enriched with a sparkle, however, after anxiously tearing open the letter I knew to be my new license, and adjusting my eyes to see just what cuteness this year has afforded me with, I was speechless.

"Why in the hell am I making that face?!?", I thought.

It's not bad, not at all, it's that I look as if, Ashton Kutchner is behind the clerks counter, giving me the come hither look, sporting only a pair of boxer briefs, while dangling a bag of chocolate covered gummie bears at arms length and i'm about to mumble a dirty, "meow". While truth be told, the clerk was a lady in her mid twenties though looked to be in her early thirties, with short tight jerri curls, no candy in sight and even if I wanted to meowwwww, I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

A mystery. And then it occured to me: The candyless clerk had requested that I take off my glasses due to the glare it would cause, this resulting, in my attempt to not be caught squinting, and instead I was caught with a very fixed looked that I was unaware looks like an intense seductive glare.

Which I gladly perfer over an almost sneeze or a pasty skin day but I know the likelihood for witty or suggestive comments amongst those who serve me my Tecates and Merlot and Vanilla Stoli Cokes is inevitable.

And I have no defense against it: a picture says a thousand words, just the hope that in another four years after perfecting my squint, I can get a new non-seductive one made.

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