ask conrad if his mommy is going to have a baby come out of her tummy soon and his face lights up in silliness and he say's "No". but instead of the no sounding like an "eff you", it sounds very british and that's how we know when conrad is teasing or joking back. he becomes a brit. i blame it on thomas the train.

friday morning conrad and i went up to the hospital to see shahala and her new baby. like with me, when informing conrad mrs. shahala's baby came out of her tummy he was humorously disagreeable about the whole thing. once at the hospital, in the room, with shahala lying down holding little sydney, you couldn't have paid conrad to stop smiling. he was mesmerized. i asked him if he thought she was beautiful and bashfully he responded with a "Yah". shahala was even a sport as to let him hold her and well conrad, all conrad wanted to do was pet the day old angel like a little puppy. and he definitely didn't want to give her back, because for the thirty more minutes we were there he repeatedly requested to hold her. hold her. hold her.

needless to say, i'm very much at peace with conrad's acceptance of baby brother truman. on a daily basis he gives my tummy kisses, talks to it, tells it different animal sounds, and all on his own doing. no requesting from jon or i. acting as a big brother to my tummy was completely his idea, and his undertaking.

i think the biggest hurdle we are going to have is not going to be conrad wanting to be the center of attention but of conrad wanting to constantly hold and play with the new "center of attention". which seems like the more desirable of choices anyways.

i can't believe how close my due date approacheth. i'm 34 1/2 weeks. how did this happen?!? i'm definitely ready in one sense and no where near in the practical sense. as it stands right now, we will probably need to move out by july 31st. i've been quite aware of this impending reality for some time, but waiting to see where and what God would have us do, has prohibited me from doing necessary nesting. there is no baby room for truman, not even a car seat. or a bassinet. i did however buy a phil and ted double stroller off of craiglist in dallas, so depending on if and when eric and boo visit, i'll eventually have it here. i do have a moses carrier so for awhile there will be somewhere for truman to sleep. and as for the car seat, i'm working on that. once again on craigslist, the problem with this isn't me being terribly particular, but finding a car seat base that fits on my petite rav 4's backseat ass. otherwise i probably would be terribly particular. as for the baby room, i know it'll come. might be after truman is born, but like the stroller, eventually.

none of the "eventually" perspective does jack shit for the itching desire to set everything up in loo of truman's arrival. though the comfort is in knowing we are trusting God, not merely in theory, but in this act of waiting. and waiting. unsure. ambigious. waiting.