Monday, January 30, 2006

tastes like chicken

when i was seven years old my father took my sisters and i to a boxer breeder to pick out our future puppy. it was every seven years old dream come true: puppies pinning you to the ground with wet kisses and bites that tickled. like the pattern the rest of my life would take, i chose the quiet one. we named her peggy sue and she was the best dog ever. when i was sick peggy would lay with me, not leaving me alone for a milisecond; when i needed a shoulder to cry on peggy would just sit there as i wrapped my arms around her pouring tears onto her shiny coat; when a stray dog tried to attack me and my tennis game, peggy like lassie, was there to protect me; when i had slumber parties peggy was true blue and let me and my girlfriends paint her nails all sorts of hideous shades; she was the sort of dog disney makes movies about and death can not touch the memory of. of course, she wasn't perfect- her toots were lethal, she had it out for the mailman bad, and she loved the taste of my mothers leather shoes. never less, i don't remember Life With Peggy being filled with frustration after frustration as i am currently experiencing with lou dog. maybe it's me not wanting to touch the perfect picture i have of my first dog.... regardless, Life With Lou is a whole other ballgame. recently, he has taken up an old habit: the habit of eating the crotch out of my dirty undies. and of course, he has impeccable taste at which pairs he chooses to snack on. never the old cotton ones, but the new silky, ruffled, lacey-basically, just the ones i found at stores i couldn't afford anything else but(t). i feel partially responsible. if i had done the laundry before it got so out of control it was spilling out of the laundry basket perhaps he wouldn't have been able to get to it; or, like, if i didn't have a Vag maybe then my cute undies wouldn't be heading off to a landfill. i don't know how to end this...my dog likes the taste of my dirty undies so much he eats the crotch right out. what else is there to add?!?

3 comments:

Michelle said...

You took me from "about to cry" to "laughing so much I just did". Awe Peggy was the absolute BEST dog ever, she really really was. We were fortunate to have her growing up. Our bond with Peggy was so deep that she felt like part of our family, like a sister and a best friend. AND she never once ate our undies.
That's just not classy!

Jon and Des V. said...

Did I know Ms. Peggy? For some reason I have a memory of her, but I have been known to fabricate those memory things... Well Jonathan hates my dog Jedi and he is wonderful, so maybe the new spouse will always resent the dog that was already there... hmmm...

Missie Rose said...

you know des, i don't believe your fabricating anything it all. you most likely met peggy in her later years of life. i don't think she passed away till i was a senior in highschool. and i also think your right about the new spouse thing. it's not that we don't want to, it's that alot of putting up with a pet and seeing them with unconditional eyes has to do with those puppy (or kitten) days. i think if maybe i would have been around when lou was a puppy then perhaps his annoying habit of drinking out of the toliet would be "adorable" as jon puts it.