screw myth busters: i have daily proof a dogs mouth is dirtier than a humans, because last time i checked, me not lou brushes his teeth two times a day. and that's just the start of it.


(me taming the wild beast)

if i was smarter in the morning, this morning when i woke to find a 105 lb beast of a dog sprawled out on his back in human-imitating fashion sawing zzz's on THE COUCH, before yelling at him, i would have taken a picture, for it was, a pretty damn funny site to see. but as funny as his deliberate disobdience can be, most of the time i'm more annoyed at how relentless his deviant behavior is. no matter how hard you spank him or how mean you scold him, he will, right in front of your face, stick his in the trash can he is suppose to, and knows, to stay out of; he will, despite having a full bowl of water ten feet away, seize the oppurtunity for a drink out of the toliet bowl instead; he will, despite creative attempts to break his trance, make the ugliest snarls and growls you have ever heard if you get anywhere near his food bowl; he will, knowing he shouldn't, lay on anything laying on the ground-so yes, all my jackets and purses smell like dog ass and the couch has canine penis and ass juice soaked into it from where he cleans himself on it and the bathroom floor needs mopped daily(though i do it bi-weekly) from toliet fungi being dripped from his mouth as he leaves his watering hole and it's no longer a surprise to find trash in my bedroom from lou's picnics. this dog is running the show and i need advice on how to flip the tables on him without flipping the table on him.