i never thought the day would come when i would meet someone who talked more than my dear hubbie's mother. the idea alone of someone out there to combat with my M.I.L in a chat-a-thon seems cruel, inhumane; and i'm not being a tad over dramatic either, it's the god honest truth: that woman can talk for hours and days without needing to take a breath or a bathroom break. a freak of nature it is to behold. before i had met her jon warned me but like the naive little child i am i believed that he was either over-exaggerating or that his mother was merely socially neglected and therefore came across as conversationally imbalanced to the only people in her life whom she had access to. as result of this line of thinking i had no excuses conjured up or means for escape for my first encounter. i was a deer in the head lights.
but as the years have progressed i have adapted to ignore politeness and go straight for survival, which means cutting her off mid sentence when needed and not calling her back until i have an hour minimum of time to commit to the possibility of not being able to end the conversation. i know this must paint me to be a horrible person and i might very well be but i do love her and in moderation i sincerely enjoy her companionship; through it all i have learned to accept constant idle chatter as an unique personality trait rather than a mental illness.
then on monday morning i was sent out to grants pass for training. it was there that i met the Ultimate Chatter Box and there i might die if this training really does last for a month like they say it will. the lady doesn't just chat about every aspect of her life, oh no, she gives full detail, commentary, dialogue, and cross references as well. it's enough to make me want to get stoned while carrying a perfect child dependent on me making good and healthy choices.
thank goodness for her i'm not there on my own time, cause if i was i would turn the gun on her before shooting myself.