a bright white world lies on the other side of my window; the fog has made it's way from the valley floor now up my side of the hill, it's a bizarre sight. blinding. i'm very aware this morning my days of lax are coming to an end here soon, on wednesday soon. from here to then i will try my best at utilizing every second of non-responsability i have left. of course, the house needs repaired and cleaned after this weekend. not that anything crazy happened here, we just, apart from me doing 90% of the dishes last night, chose not to clean up after ourselves from friday to last night. as if our mama was a maid. taking a quick look around the room i see my jacket tossed on the floor, my blow dryer and contacts next to the mirror, every single pair of jon's shoes by the front door, his pj pants dropped by the computer desk, an open bag of oreos lying on the counter, and so on and so forth. i wouldn't consider myself a clean freak, but that is an assumption drawn from a comparision to my sister, who is, the cleanest of them all. as children we had to share a room, which we split down the middle: her half and my half. her half was always spotless, tidy, categorized, dusted, and licked splickty clean. while my half was as i put it "i at least know where everything is"- words i now cringe at when my husband offers it as a defense for wanting to live out of non-organized plastic crates-but that was me then. somehow, in some mysterious way, in some ways, i think my sister and i have metamorphised into one another. i became prevy to this phenomen back when michelle was living in london. a friend of ours, who did traveling back and forth from dallas to england because of a band, had the oppurtunity to see the both of us on a 'on again/ off again' basis, and from that he was able to see michelle, an once shy and extremely introverted sort of girl, become outgoing and socially intrepid. while i on the other hand started to withdraw-experiencing for the first time in my life anxiousness in new social settings. his theory for this changeroo was sweet: that we, being soul-mates, without our other half, compensated in ourselves for our other half. whether that was the case or not, i do know it took me about a year after michelle had moved back to dallas to start to feel like the self i was before she moved away, though the anal retentiveness i picked up from her absence might be permanent. i guess you can say i tasted and saw, and i really bought into it. though i don't think i will ever make jon sit on the floor because i don't want wrinkles made on my bed spread. that one is a michelle special.

the fog is stuck. i might as well get going on mopping the kitchen floor now.