Tuesday, June 22, 2004

the worst day of my life...continued

the bank was a happening place that morning. after a while another man in uniform showed up and this; the sight of two cop cars defensively positioned behind this miniture good records and the flag of russia bumber stickered suv, caused a scene for the public to interest themselves in. i kept on thinking that perhaps they had me confused me with some escaped convict or one of america's most wanted but as they approached the car, one on the right side telling me as he walked closer that, "Ms. Rose, you have warrants out for your arrest from the City of Six Flags and Arbor Days so I have no choice but to take ya in" , while the other officer sneaked very cautiously to the left side of my car i realized, it was nothing more than two bored and power hungry cops that were, not only going to take me in after i pleaded and showed them reciepts proving that i was in the process of taking care of all my old tickets but also, that i only had so much money but that they could trust that i was definately in the process, that regardlessly, they were going to handcuff me in front of everyone.

i don't remember my rights being read. i do remember feeling what seemed to be a thousand eyes burning themselves on me as the police officer asked me to step out of my car; and those some eyes penetrating me as i was put into handcuffs and ushered into the back seat of the cop car.

yep that's how i got here.

i called jon and my mother about nine hours ago. i figured my mother would wire jon the money to get me out-which meant that my she would have to go to the bank, and this i imagined would take maybe a hour. jon would then take the money to the clerk at the police station, and this i thought might take another hour. but as i lay here, having just finished my jail dinner, i don't think it happened. i have no idea what's going on and how long i'm going to be in here. the walls are suffocating me; i can hardly breathe in this limited space. i feel so confined, which is the point i know, but not all birds are meant to be caged for any amount of time and now i know i am that hybrid of a bird. i want to scream. loud. i want to rip out the sink and throw it at the wall. hard. i want to stick my head in the toleit till i loose consciousness. groose. the toliets don't flush. it faces the bars. the police officers walk by every thirty minuets or so. i have no privacy to go to the bathroom but i've done it anyways, three times. instead of acting upon anything i'm wishing i would do, i lay here and wish i wasn't here. i've avoided crying since my by law phone call, or in my case, phone call(s). but i'm loosening it. i'm really loosing my shit. the thought of being in here for another hour is ripping my instinates up through my throat. i never had a chance to call into work. i hope they don't fire me. i never had a chance to call rachel and cancel our plans to go bowling tonight. i'm sure she'll understand.

where are you jon?

i know he's doing everything he can. i'm sure of it. i can't wait to see him and thank him with my biggest warmest hug ever. he's really earning his true blue friend badge today. but why in the hell am i still in here. maybe theirs some paperwork he can't do because it's asking for information, like my social security number, that he doesn't know. i have no way of calling him to make sure theirs nothing i can do to help.

after numerous times of asking if i can make a phone call to see what's going on and to make sure theirs nothing jon or my mother need to know to get me outta here, i'm finally granted permission.

ten minuets later i hear a husky voice yell, "Ms.Rose". i know what this means. it means bail has finally been made-it means the paper work as finally gone through-it means, most importantly, that i can go home.

i give the officer a hug. she stands there not knowing what to do with this affection but i give it anyways.

jon's been working all day on getting me out and now he's on his way to pick me up. i've just spent the entirity of the day in jail but that pales in comparision to how blessed and thankful i'm feeling for jon.

i love this man. i hate jail.

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