last tuesday night i started back to work; a very last of the minute sort of thing, and i wasn't prepared mentally or emotionally or milkfully. jon sat on the bed as i flipped through the undesirable collection of clothes hanging in my closet- chatting about when i would be home and what to do if he ran out of milk and conrad was loosing his shit- and all the meanwhile my heart was doing this slow break, because i knew, for the first time in almost 8 months, i wouldn't be there to give conrad his bath or read him his stories or snuggle on the bed with him before putting down in his crib and that thought was heart wrenching to me, really, really heart wrenching. and all at once it hit me and i burst into tears because i didn't think i could do it, physically, totally, inable. like the good, level headed man jon is he talked down from the ledge and gave me that boost of support and perspective to get me out the door and into my car; and there in my car i believed all he said, knowing it was short term and by next week i would only be missing two bed times instead of the four already assigned. plus, it was true, i needed to get out and mingle and make lots and lots of money. a week later, i'm glad i did. alex's (my new place of employment) seems like a great fit. i like the people i work with and they seem to like me. unlike alot of southern oregonians they seem to be more accustomed to banter and wit and sarcasms, which is my cup of tea. there is nothing more intolerable than working with a bunch of people who take themselves too seriously, except for working with a bunch of people who have chronic gas and talk to close for comfort. true story.