"a roll of film?!?"

i'm known to be one, from time to time, to misplace my keys, lock my keys in my car, leave my asthma inhaler at a bar, lose my drivers license, and my head. a few years ago the night before my trip to romania, i went to the cheesecake factory for an 'all american' farewell dinner and martini. the next morning as i collected the neccesary objects to go in my carry on i realized i had no idea where my passport was. paniced and growing grey hair by the second, i called everywhere i had been the day before. which meant, the day before a big trip, there were many a places to call. after numerous failed inquiries, i finally found it at the cheesecake factory, and raced as fast my little suv would go to pick it up. after that incident, i thought i would never misplace something so valueable ever ever again.

yesterday was jon's birthday. he turned 28 years old. for the past three weeks i have been tirelessly putting togather his present. a week before i knew i needed to send it for it to get there in time, i also knew, i had a few more knicks to smooth out before i could begin to complete it. what i didn't realize, was that the two weeks prior work, was lost; and this i realized today.

i've searched high and low. i've re-cleaned my spotless room in hope that, somehow in the heat of yesterdays battle, i overlooked seeing it. i've sunk to levels of unchartered dementia- visioning a legion of fleas with red bandanas around their head, triumphantly carrying it away, like the cartoon of the ants at a picnic totting a ham and cheese sandwhich on their back, but in this scenerio, the devil fleas are bringing it to a p.o.w camp and later have plans to burn it at the stake. i've driven here and i've driven there. i've dug threw the trash out in the dumpster just in case, for some god only knows reason, i accidentally threw it away. i've called every place of business i can recall being at in the last two weeks, begging them to look in their lost and found. and now, now i'm on the verge of tears. i wanted so badly to give jon the best damn birthday gift in the world; i wanted to show him just how special he is to me, how special he is to so many people. he really deserves it and i really blew it.