Monday, November 08, 2004

rated D for disturbing

"I've been, uh, I've been screwing my sister. And, uh, we've been doing this for five or six years now. And, uh, um, she wants us to live together. And I don't want to do that 'cause our mother's still alive. And I don't wanna really screw up my mother. But my sister, you know, she's really, you know...she's really neat. She's really, she's really good.... She's got...she's beautiful. And, uh, you know she's like, you know, the best fuck I've ever had. And, uh, I know I...I know, she's really nice. But, uh, ...She wants us to live together. And, uh, ...uh, you know, and she thinks we can slip it by our mother. But, uh, I don't know what to do about it right now. So, um, I'll call you when I find out."

it's not so much the content alone i found to be so disturbing, it was also hearing the voices: muffled, raw, nervous, outlined with relief and in the very same emoution, remorse; years of crippling shame making creaks through the dialect but not so much that they sounded estranged, or even afraid. to the contrary, for some it seemed to be only mere admittance, devoid of almost any regret.

i was on my way over to rachels when i heard this apology themed program on 'this american life' earlier in the afternoon. it caught me completely off guard. hours later i'm still not quite able to articulate my thoughts or feelings that the audio clippings left me with.

some things are better left unheard.


SJ said...

(Pause to vomit)
That is disturbing.

Missie Rose said...

oh, that's just the tip on the iceberg. you should, if you dare, check out that site and read the rest of them: incredibly, disturbing. one of the most horrific messages i didn't see on the web site but heard it on the program; it was by this man who lived with his elderly mom. he was without a job, she was ill and recieving money from ss and other goverment agencies; so, as her son, he lived with her as her caretaker and would charge her for cups of water and doing things like helping her into bed, etc. she eventually died and now he wishes he could say sorry because he realizes how unbelievably cruel and wrong it was. fckin distrurbing, someone-anyone could be so low.

Michelle said...

Makes me want to throw bleach all over myself and brush my teeth a millions from the dirtiness I feel from reading that. How on earth did you find this?