I'm Not A Mean Person

and that's the thing; i've never been and i've had some pretty bad shit done to me, people who have cast their lot of judgement on me, and words said that shot me right in the heart but growing up i was taught to turn the other cheek, to kill with kindness, to realize some people don't think before they act or speak, that jesus loves all the little childern even those who sometimes say and do not nice things and since he forgave and loved us we should forgive and love them. and so i'm one of those people you can do almost anything to me and i'll without hesitation forgive you and even if you don't deserve it, i'll shower you with kindness, i'll stick up for you when others bash you, i'll add in you my night time prayers, and i'll love you unconditionally. so i'm a little shocked here that yesterday i was mean and even more shocked that i still believe he deserved every ounce of it. either that is indication that i'm being a poo brain or he really has hurt me beyond my little forgiving loving self can comprehend. and yes, i can't comprehend how someone who should be concerned with earning back my trust and regard is advent in doing the very opposite.