there was candle light and we owned the place. i never expected so many to show up, especially after last monday's bowling bust of fun. but indeed, one by one they trickled in dressed up, and, some, totting gifts. josh introduced himself as "a glimpse as my past" and admitted regretting not baking me a chettoo cake as i did for him nine years ago, stephanie passed me a little jeweled bag with the blue bird of happiness inside-- it was holds more sentiment value to her than a creative memories convention holds to a thousand housewives-- i'm honored to have it on loan; luanna was my wife for the night, micheal shared with me a bottle of serious barbaresco vino, i adorned a paris hilton engagement ring rip off, my lovely parents were there, and my darling sister made it all happen.

i thought i'd be going out in a bang, but it's occurred to me, more than anything, i'll be going out with enough love to last for all eternity.

next, spa day with the girls at the four seasons...bitches!

it's official: i'm head over heels for brmc's new albumn. i gave my world the spree, and we danced; we sang along; we walked in silly elation. i was so overwhelmed with loving them that it was only natural to desire the same fulfilment for everyone i knew. and now 'howl' comes along and so has that familar feeling. as jon has already proclaimed, "it's gorgeous". good god, it's more than that: it's friggin brilliant, it's down right perfect. today is my birthday. buy yourself howl, as a gift to me.

at a posie show in september an april boy told me about a band i should have known about long junes ago. early this morning i found this song on an ipod. how lovely.

Big Star - September Gurls

September gurls do so much
I was your butch and you were touched
I loved you well never mind
I've been crying all the time
December boys got it bad.
September gurls I don't know why
how can I deny what's inside
even thought I keep away
maybe we'll love all our days.
When I get to bed late at night
that's the time she makes things right
ooh when she makes luv to me.

what a day! me and dandy are going out for fried chicken. how's that for a pre-celebration?!?

yes, this binge train is still going at full speed. the show last night was fantastic. a little bit of raspberry vodka and soda, a little bit of smiling faces, a little bit of bright lights, a little bit of musical bewitchment, and a lot of friggin fun.

and now it's raining!!! i love this day already.

binge mode

leaving the bar at 2:10am, going out after work, getting high in the middle of the day...these are things i'm not really known for; these are things i hardly ever indulge in, and yet, recently, i'm the poster child. it's 4am and i'm still awake. perhaps it has something to do with being temporarily displaced. but more than anything, it's mostly just pure social gluttony. i know this sort of behavior all to well. back in my dieting days this was my staple: no refined sugar, hydrogenated, or processed food for an entire month, and 45 minutes of cardio every day; this sort of self-totalitarianism was preceded by (and by preceded I mean till the second before resolution was to start) feasts of junk.

not that moving to oregon is some sort of form of resolution. revolution, perhaps. however, there is a thread of similarity and continuity between the two, and there is the 'desired compensation from sacrifice' element in the both. my main reason for moving to oregon is painstakingly natural: love. the other reasons are just as postive and beneficial. for instance, to projectile myself out of a rut. dallas is great, and blah,blah,blah...but, the fact remains- dallas has served no greater good for my once innocent and genuine ambitions, ardor, and dreams. i'm stifled here. not to mention, the overall state of well being that will be gleaned by moving to a part of the country that is extremely focused on a healthy and natural way of life. yes, i'm excited about living somewhere i don't have to drive 10 minutes away in order to recycle. in oregon i'll have the chance to step forward: school, the motivation(and time) to refine a skill, opportunity to do something besides waiting tables (if i should want), and someone for me to be there for and have there for me; someone to encourage and be an encouragement for; someone i love.

tomorrow night centromatic and deep blue something play at the granada, sunday night the spree are playing, sunday i'm having brunch with a friend in from the big A, monday night is my bowling b'day party, this coming up weeknd my parents are here, engagement party on sunday, leave wednesday.

i'm going out in bang folks.

here lies the challenge: the momentous task of catergorizing; of deciding; writing. really, when was the last time i wrote an entry of introspective and informative value? rhertorically, too long now to pick back up the allegorical torch and attempt a sprint around the track.

michelle is lying on the bed with my childhood cat, clover. we're in corpus christi visiting my parents. for me, this will be the last time i'll be down here till christmas. in 15 days the adventure begins. my belongings wait in a storage space, i've put in my two week notice, going away parties are being planned, and the thought of goodbye tears up my eyes.

still not too many people know about the move. just a few weeks ago i broke the news to my parents, just two weeks ago i tolled my boss and my co-workers, and just last night i wrote an email to an old friend about it all. in past plans it never panned out, and in the aftermaths i would feel like a talltale teller. first there was london. i was to transfer with the four seasons but after arranging everything with hr i realized how difficult it was to recieve a visa. then there was romania. i had issues corresponding with the lady who offered to host me. finally after numerous letters and emails i gave up. then there was austin. again with the four seasons. i can't remember what went awry with that effort but something in true anti-missie fashion did. colorado. bust. austin. i did it; i drove back every weekend to work because i couldn't find a job there. a few days after i broke my sublease and quit school, the four seasons and gingerman called me to tell me the finally had openings and, both, offered me a job. but it was a week to late to put in reverse the resolutions in motion. i had finally given up; i faced the cards life had delt me and had decided it wasn't that bad. dallas wasn't that bad.

now here we are- oregon bound. and this time around i have a traveling companion-jon. we have a plan, we have reasons, we have eachother.

my father is leaving for work and now michelle is asking me if i'll go to blockbuster with her. our time here has been well spent: body surfing notable gulf sized waves, bowling, my mothers deliciuos and healthy cooking, scrabble at the coffee shop, and, for myself, half of freakonomics read. but now, now, it's time to snuggle up on the sofa and let the night usher in the morning.