jon: so how many times have you dropped conrad?
me: (look of disgust at such a question) seriuosly?!? none.
jon: no, i mean Total...
during the last few months of being pregnant and the first few months with a new baby it seemed everywhere i went, everybody i met, and alot i didn't had some sort of advise to give me about Motherhood. in that pot o' wisdom was numerous stories about babies falling off of beds and changing tables followed with verbage like "it's happened to all of us, so don't be too hard on yourself when it happens to you". and up until recently i had wondered how in the f'bomb someone could have their baby fall from underneath their nose. like i said, up until recently; and while it's never happened to me, i'm beginning to see how such a situation might kinda possibly occur. there have been many a times i'm seconds away from letting conrad party in his birthday suit just because how hopeless it seems to get him to stop rolling over while i'm trying to put the diaper underneath him or for him to stop pulling the diaper off before i have it on. the kid is like an otter twirling and spinning- it's funny till i'm dizzy or he gets a little too close to achieving escape. i figure we'll eventually have to start doing diaper changes on the floor or on our bed which is kinda stupid because why in the flip do they even sell changing tables for if you can only safely use them for 6 months?!? none the less, point is, diaper changes suck more now than they did when every other one was an assplosion. that's conrad though: even in the delivery room the nurses were commenting while trying to put a monitor thingamojobber on his head- via inside me-just how wiggly and squirmy he was; and after he was born, during that swaddle stage, ya, No. we would try and inevitably he would have kicked and wiggled to a sleep without bondage. just this morning jon was holding him in his lap when all of a sudden conrad saw something on the floor he wanted and presto bingo there he went diving for it, evading head trauma by seconds thanks to both of our quick reflexes.