one of my favorite things ( to which i'm aware, i say too much, throwing it around like a mason with a hand full of candy on thanksgiving day, but dare i say, the one i'm about to share really rates at the top):

imagine the sounds you might here of somebody getting a deep tissue massage while downing an number 3 from arby's whilst listening to ocean sounds on a pair of headphones...that's kinda what conrad sounds like when he's really enjoying a nice warm meal on the boob, and, redundancy aside, it's one of my favorite things in life.

attention moms and baby experts

oh what to do, what to do...see, conrad loves bath time, really friggin loves it, like me with a jar of nutella and just like me with nutella, things often get a little dangerous. he has no concept that a body of water is a force to be reckon with and so will fling himself in every direction to fall into it and when i have him on his belly, soaping his baby butt, i am fighting with him to not drink the water.

i sure could use a suggestion, or another set of arms. please.

a (belated) baby shower picture:


me and marian, and conrad trying out his cowboy boots.

it's official, conrad has said his first word, and, despite my coaching and bribbery, it was Daddy. for a few weeks now he has been nothing but Da and Dah and DaDa and even the occasional Daddy (pronounced Dahdee), but it wasn't till last night that it was obviuos he knew exactly whom he was referring to when he said it; and it was exciting and thrilling and beautiful even though it wasn't Mommy.

there are other sounds and syllables and words, like Mommy. and while he has said the rare Mommy it's pretty (embarrasingly) apparent he has no idea who Mommy is-to him it's the sweet potatoes on his highchair, the rattle, the running water, the itch on his baby balls. and while i'd at least like to be number 2 in his vocabulary, it's looking like Dog might be before me. i give this defeat of importance up to the altar of motherhood, another knot on my mommy belt, right next to fugly hair and sore nipples.

6 months, 3weeks, something days



rolled from back to tummy effortlessly: check

6 months, 3 weeks, 3 days

jon: so how many times have you dropped conrad?

me: (look of disgust at such a question) seriuosly?!? none.

jon: no, i mean Total...

during the last few months of being pregnant and the first few months with a new baby it seemed everywhere i went, everybody i met, and alot i didn't had some sort of advise to give me about Motherhood. in that pot o' wisdom was numerous stories about babies falling off of beds and changing tables followed with verbage like "it's happened to all of us, so don't be too hard on yourself when it happens to you". and up until recently i had wondered how in the f'bomb someone could have their baby fall from underneath their nose. like i said, up until recently; and while it's never happened to me, i'm beginning to see how such a situation might kinda possibly occur. there have been many a times i'm seconds away from letting conrad party in his birthday suit just because how hopeless it seems to get him to stop rolling over while i'm trying to put the diaper underneath him or for him to stop pulling the diaper off before i have it on. the kid is like an otter twirling and spinning- it's funny till i'm dizzy or he gets a little too close to achieving escape. i figure we'll eventually have to start doing diaper changes on the floor or on our bed which is kinda stupid because why in the flip do they even sell changing tables for if you can only safely use them for 6 months?!? none the less, point is, diaper changes suck more now than they did when every other one was an assplosion. that's conrad though: even in the delivery room the nurses were commenting while trying to put a monitor thingamojobber on his head- via inside me-just how wiggly and squirmy he was; and after he was born, during that swaddle stage, ya, No. we would try and inevitably he would have kicked and wiggled to a sleep without bondage. just this morning jon was holding him in his lap when all of a sudden conrad saw something on the floor he wanted and presto bingo there he went diving for it, evading head trauma by seconds thanks to both of our quick reflexes.

more tommorrow.

6months, 3 weeks, and 1 day

keeping to my word although truth be told i'm already over this writing everyday thing.


well conrad is napping. he takes 3-4 naps a day depending on how long he's down for at each napping juncture. all in all the kiddo sleeps about 14 hours a day, give or take a hour. his current nap is my favorite because it's the 2 hour snoozer and that means i have plenty of time to go catch a matinee or drive around recklessly without my seatbelt, though typically i spend it mopping the floor and emailing people and paying the bills and washing the dishes and mindlessly browsing for thisandthat on ebay. i no longer coddle or sing to conrad before his naps; this because jon and i are pretty sure it has some mystical effect on him waking up in the middle of night. thankfully he has a teddy bear that he loves and loves to wrestle with and gnaw on and in doing so he forgets all about why i'm not holding him and falls asleep instead in his teddy's embrace. lately he has been demanding- by means of thrusting his body back towards the crib in the direction of his teddy-that when i come to take him out of his crib i not forget his furry brown friend too.

tuesday night might go down in history as conrad's night of perpetual wakings. every two hours he woke up screaming and crying, wanting one thing and one thing only, the boobie. at his 3am juncture i was just too tired; jon and i laid in bed paralyzed with fatigue, listening, then falling asleep, up again at 5am shamefully wondering if conrad ever fell asleep too. then the next morning we rehashed the nights events like two people who drank too much tequilla and did something they don't remember or don't want to admit they remember. but most of all we were like decectives, red eyed, caffenine desperate decectives, trying to piece together what went wrong.

when conrad was just a few weeks old he would sleep in 3-4hour spurts, and then at 2months he graduated to 4-5hour spurts, and then at 3months 5-6hour spurts, and eventually he was sleeping through the night. then last month he got his first cold and all our progress and my sweet 8 hours of unbroken sleep went down the shitter. so for the past few weeks jon and i have been mad sleep scientists- working on potions, enforcing "methods". and it seemed all our sweat and blood was finally paying off, conrad was only waking up once a night and on two different occasions-gloriuos ones-he slept through the night.

the one constant and most recongizable factor was who puts him to bed every night, and that person was me. we have yet to go beyond hypothesizing on why it is, but for some unknown reason, conrad sleeps in longer spurts when his daddy puts him down at night. however, tuesday night i did. case solved.

yesterday morning while in retrospective analysist i realized i need something more than my huge and great brain to help me remember the passing days of conrad's behavior and developments-i need to journal, i need to write this stuff down; and not every now and then, but every day, every stinken day.

starting today.

This is A Journal About Conrad's Everything

6months, 3 weeks

conrad meet a little girl at church sunday in the lactating mother's room. her name was maddy and she was nine months. it was really fun to watch a baby not too much bigger than conrad crawling and holding herself up on furniture. conrad was enormed with her too, and seemed to really enjoy when maddy came over and "investigated" him. the only other baby conrad has ever seen up close and personal was a three month old girl (zoie) at the peditrican's office back at his 6month well check-up. he really loves other babies and is nothing but smiles and excitement when he see's another baby or child. we've been to the park a few times-and while i'm antsy for conrad to be big enough to play-he seems to simply enjoy watching the other children do just that, play. i'm also antsy to meet other new moms. i feel like someone whose been divorced for years and is now ready to start dating again but unsure were to start or where to look or even scared i don't know how to anymore. ;)

but back to conrad: about two weeks ago i introduced conrad to his first solid food, which was rice cerel because everywhere i looked thats what they suggested i start him out with; however, conrad thinks rice cerel is despicable and so i then let my motherly instinct direct me to his next food, and after realizing it was i who was hungry for pizza snackers i read on a different website that bananas or avocados or sweet potatoes were an ideal choice for all natural prevy mothers. so the next day i mashed up a banana but still conrad was not amused. i had given up, coming to the conclusion he just wasn't ready and my desire to take pictures of him with purreed food all over his face would have to wait till he was 12months. that was until one day when conrad, his gramma, and i were at a cafe in jacksonville having lunch and conrad leaned over in his highchair attempting to snatch my carnivore taco out from under my nose. i wasn't in the mood to share so i mashed up some of my avocado and let him take a taste. this was when everyone in the cafe heard the most delightful squeal, followed by grunts and moans of MORE. ever since then after his first nap he enjoys a nice bowl of purreed avocado in his highchair, and now i have pictures of a green baby.

in addition to the avocado he has also showed signs of liking grapes, and by signs i mean he violently grabs them out of my mouth and into his.

more later, i have dishes to do.