it's coming down in buckets. i had forgotten that it could; these texan rains are incredible, the only way it should rain. conrad is asleep in the guest bedroom we are calling home for the week. i keep poking my head in there to make sure the cat hasn't crawled up in bed with him looking for a snuggle buddy. which conrad would think was awesome. clover, thats the cat's name, has no concept of danger and so conrad has gotten a few swings at trying to pull his ears off his little head as well as with his tail. if it wasn't for me, he probably already would have. i remember instances with clover and my nephew caleb back when caleb was an ankle bitter himself: caleb would be clumisly walking around the house dragging a willing and frightened clover by his tail. that cat is one good sport but not too quick.

i'm in corpus for the week: a pre-christmas christmas holiday. we went to the beach the other day, it was conrad's first time to make it out of the car while at the beach. we had attempted it when he was just a few days old and my mother was visiting and while we, in turns, went to the beach conrad remained in his car seat snoozing away. this time around conrad experienced the waves crashing at his toes, the shadows of the seagulls flying above us, the breeze in his face, and the sand in between his toes. it was so fun to watch him flap his arms in great excitement and to squeal when the waves came crawling up the beach towards him and he literally did squish the sand in between his toes as the waves recedded. my dad wasn't there but when we relayed conrads apparrant affinity for the ocean my dad was stocked: alas, a male in his lineage he could mold into a beach bum after his own heart.

conrad is five months old. i can't believe it. i have these "love freakouts" as i like to call them when i, for lack of a better word, freakout at how much i love him. i'm sharing this because i'm about to have another one right now.

rounding corners

i was looking for a parking spot, mindlessly listening to the radio when i became painfully embarrased for the artist singing. her lyrics were so juvenille and inexpericened and i realized at one point i might have liked that song, i might have found solace in the implied, in the longing. but i've grown some-have a few more licks and kicks and perspective that comes only from having been there and being there-and the more i walk this line the more i find myself happily detaching from that sequence of self-becoming. which makes me wonder what corners are still out there? perhaps it has something to do with the man i married: mr. rational.

because this makes me smile.