Tuesday, July 18, 2006

by this time tomorrow i assume i'll be holding my child, outside of my uterus. yes, my whole world is about to change, more than it already has, more than i'm sure i can project, imagine. there will be family in the waiting room; i wish some of them where the ones i'm more familar with, more comfortable with. neverless, they will be there: excited, elated, thrilled, and overwhelmed with the same sense of awe and gratefulness jon and i both share. my mother won't be far behind in the festivities. she'll make it a few hours late but, undoubtedly, in need, by me.

jon has his clothes laid out; i went to old navy today and bought an outfit i hope will fit the new transitional body of me; the diaper bag is loaded with diapers, nursing bra pads, numerous onesies, booties, mittens, a hand stitched hat from stephanie, a blanket from rachel, and a soft square toy that won some grand toy prize. tonight, before i attempt at going to bed i'll place everything by the front door. then in the morning: make sure i remember my cell phone charger, tooth brush, tooth paste, lou has a full dish of food, all the lights are off, and the baby's room is dust free (an on-going battle between me and dead skin cells!) . and i bet i'll cry all the way to the hospital. i don't need to see the little guy to know i already possess an immense amount of love for him i never knew was humanly possible-to know i'm hours( then in the morning even closer) to holding this thing i love more than anything else, makes me all light headed, flushed with so many emoutions it's hard to breathe them all in one breath. love has reached a new dimension i never knew existed.

at some point i'll make it back here. unfortunately until we get the internet at home, i'll have no pictures to upload, but i'll have stories and a baby.

1 comment:

encantada said...

i'm already so proud of you, missie. and of course so excited for you!! i wish you all the best today. all my best intentions and thoughts and karma and goodness i'm sending north to the three of you. And a huge hug too.

atta girl! you'll rock this!